Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Sleep... it's not for the undetermined

I recently started working a different (very early morning) shift at work. This past Sunday evening I was especially tired, so I decided to call it a day around 7:00 pm. I did my best to block out every trace of sunlight in my room, turned on my sound machine, attempted to read for a little while (about five minutes), then I was out. For approximately 15 minutes. I was jarred back into consciousness by the thunderous explosion of bass notes blasting through my bedroom wall from my neighbor’s apartment…

I immediately recognized the song (“Save the Last Dance For Me”), which is a song I actually like. But never before have I noticed that it has a very pronounced bass part – very cool I’m sure, to someone who is fully awake and alert, but quite maddening to someone who has just been jolted awake by it. This song was followed by several others, and it was during the second song that I realized my poor neighbor must have a hearing problem, because he KEPT TURNING THE VOLUME UP. Seriously, it was as if I had crawled onto the stage of a rock concert, laid my pillow on the bass player’s amp, and decided to try to catch some ZZZs.

Allow me to pause here and briefly describe the inverse correlation between my level of fatigue and my level of patience. I go through stages of irritability when suffering from sleep deprivation. With the first stage (mild drowsiness) I am able to remain fairly pleasant, with only occasional displays of annoyance. Think of a child, perhaps 8 years old, for this one.

The next level (moderate sleepiness) brings out some more, um… colorful…. aspects of my personality. I begin to zone out for longer periods of time, it becomes difficult to maintain focus on anything non-shiny for more than 5 seconds, my irritability seems to be triggered not necessarily more frequently, but more unpredictably. And my attempts at coherent conversation become strained, at best. Here, imagine a 3-year old child who missed a nap or two.

Extreme exhaustion is the final stage, and with it comes such symptoms as a blank stare, a complete inability to focus on anything (shiny or otherwise), and you can just forget about exchanging any type of intelligent dialogue with me. Also, there may be occasional temper tantrums, but only if something goes drastically wrong. And by “something going drastically wrong,” I am basically referring to any and all occasions in which I am forced to do something I don’t feel like doing (obeying traffic laws, standing in line anywhere, or behaving like a civil human being). I cannot provide a phase of life with which to compare this stage. This one may very well be unique to me. But maybe think along the lines of Jekyll and Hyde.

Anyway, I digress (lack of ability to focus… refer back to stage 2 if you have already forgotten).

Now, by nature, I am not a confrontational person. And I really don’t get angry often. Even if I do get angry I’m not going to be “in-your-face” about it. So when the bass notes began thumping through the wall directly into my head, my initial reaction was to calmly adjust the volume on my sound machine ever so slightly. As I should have expected, this did not solve anything other than removing my ability to recognize the songs being played…. thus leaving me to guess what the song was, based on the snatches of music I was able to discern above the now steady “rain” falling 2 feet from my head. So for the next few minutes all of my quickly draining energy was being focused on NOT guessing what song was playing.

Realizing this was going to last for a while, I jumped out of bed, angrily turned the sound machine volume up to the highest volume (labeled “deafening” on the side of the machine), flung myself back into the bed with a huff, and buried my head between my pillows. So my plan to quickly fall asleep to the gentle sound of raindrops pattering to the ground were definitely shot. Instead, I FINALLY drifted off despite experiencing what I imagine I would feel like if I were being smothered to death in the middle of a rock concert underneath Niagara Falls.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Give and Take

"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 4:10-11

"So in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully." Romans 12:5-8

"Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." Galations 6:10

It amazes me how God has created each of us so differently, and placed us together so perfectly that we are able to help Him take care of each other. The give and take, especially among Christians, is a beautiful thing to me. I have always enjoyed learning about Spiritual gifts, and about the “five love languages.” Both of these have been on my heart a lot lately.

My spiritual gifts are giving and serving. My primary love languages for showing love to others are gift-giving and acts of service. l am happiest when I am doing something for others, or giving something to someone. I love to shop for gifts for people, and I have been told I have a talent for finding just the right thing. Even more than gifts, I love doing things for people just to help make their lives a little easier. It is so humbling to know that God would allow me to be instrumental in making someone’s day just a little brighter and easier.

My primary love languages for receiving love from others are quality time and acts of service. I feel the most loved when someone is willing to just stop what they’re doing long enough to sit and listen to me for a little while. Or when someone goes out of their way to help me with something.

So God, being the creative, caring God that he is, places people in my life who receive love in the same way that I show it, and who show love in the same way I receive it. A bit of a tongue-twister, I know, but how amazingly brilliant is He to have all of that worked out?? It makes Christian fellowship and friendship so much more enjoyable and so much easier to experience. Yet we are still responsible for part of it. We must remain vigilant and constantly watch for opportunities to be a blessing to someone. More than that, we have to have the discipline and obedience to actually ACT on that still, small voice that prompts us to do something for someone.

One thing I have learned is that it is so important not only to act, but to act NOW, at that moment. When you are being led by the Spirit to do something for someone, give something to someone, or be something for someone, do it right then. By doing so at that exact moment, you are helping someone who needs it at that exact moment. Sometimes God asks us to do things that seem strange. Or to give things that seem like weird gifts. It may seem weird to you, but it is probably because someone in your life has a very specific need for it. Sometimes He asks us to do something small, and sometimes something life-altering. Doesn’t matter the size or the normalcy of the act, you have to do it to keep the cycle going.

I just can’t get over how clever it is of God to work all this out. The way we give and receive may seem trivial, but I think if you’ll take a minute to really think about it, and to think about the people in your life, you’ll see the same thing that I’ve noticed in mine. How frustrating would it be if I were surrounded by people who do not accept love through gift-giving or acts of service? How frustrated would I be if I had no one in my life who gives love by providing quality time? And how boring would it be if we all showed love the same way, and received it the same way?

God knows what we need. Not only that, he knows that we need the human interaction with other Christians, and he has come up with this incredible plan to allow us to be his instrument for ministering to each other. So I encourage you to find out what your Spiritual gifts are, if you don't already know. Discover what your love languages are. And then throw yourself whole-heartedly into serving God and His children with those gifts. You will not regret it.