When I am weak, then I am strong

Since I am new to the blogging world, I have been trying to decide what I want my blogs to center around. Just the other day I made a list of my favorite Bible verses. Some of them I would like to memorize, and others I have already done so. The list ended up being very long, and I am still adding to it. So, I thought, why not use these verses as the topic for each blog? So, that's what I'm going to do.... and here's the first verse:

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
- 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

In this verse Paul is telling us what God's response was to his pleas for the thorn in his flesh to be removed. According to scripture, there is enough of God's grace (His unmerited divine assistance or favor) to meet our needs, no matter what they may be. When we go through trials in life that test our faith, we should remember that the end result of whatever we are going through will be a demonstration of God's strength. When we are experiencing difficulties, it is so easy to focus on the problem and lose sight of the big picture. During these times it is often difficult to even entertain a positive thought, let alone focus on one. But that is what we have to do in order to pull through.

I think what is difficult for some people (myself included) to grasp is that God is not saying "My grace is sufficient to get you out of this problem right now so you will be comfortable and not need me again until your next problem arises." Surprise! We still have to go through the trial. But we have God's grace and power to get us through it. If, every time we got into a jam, all we had to do was say, "God get me out of this" and he would do it...Then what would He be to us other than someone we used to escape situations we didn't want to experience?

Think about a happy time in your life - a time when everything was going well, and things just seemed be working out for you. Next think about a time when your life was turned upside down, or you found yourself in what seemed to be a never-ending series of unwelcome trials and struggles. Now, looking at each of these experiences, ask yourself when you felt God's presence the strongest. For me, I have seen God do incredible things in my life during times that nothing else seemed to be going right. Don't get me wrong, He does great things when things are going fine too. But the sad truth is that we really start seeking God and calling out to Him when we're down in the dumps. Sometimes when I have a string of really horrible days I think it's God trying to get my attention... like he's saying, "Hey, remember me?" If it takes a bad day to get us to draw closer to God, then I think He's willing to allow some bad days into our lives. After all, He is a jealous God. But that's another verse, and therefore, a topic for another day. :)

More Than a Conqueror

I lost a dear friend recently. I lost him so quickly I didn't even know what had happened. One day he was alive, the next he was not. But I also lost something else - something even more important - my faith. This loss was not nearly as quick or as obvious, and perhaps not as complete, but for all intents and purposes, until a few weeks ago, my faith was gone. Adam's death shook me to my core, snatching out from under me anything not firmly rooted. I could tell myself that I'd be okay, and that with time it would get easier, but I was not seeing any evidence of that, and without faith, we rely on what we see. What I saw was myself becoming a whirlwind of emotions, not knowing what to expect from my own self. All I knew was that I did not want a life like that. I came to a breaking point one day, and literally could barely function. I could not think a rational thought, and I could sense myself sinking and sinking into a place I had never been. It terrified me.

Then two very special people in my life came along and grabbed me by the hand, and started trying to pull me back out. At first, their efforts did little more than keep me from sinking further, but at least that was progress. One of these people made me stop and take a step back. She told me to look at my life and decide what needed to give - because something had to. She told me I needed to get away. Any excuse I offered up she was not willing to accept. She offered to let me use her car, said she would pay for the gas, and she even called some friends to see if I could stay with them. She basically did all but drive me there.

The second person was my rock - my shoulder to cry on, and my listening ear. As hard as it was for me to reach out for help, she knew when I needed it. And as many other things as she probably needed to be doing with her time, she was more than willing to give me all the time I needed. She was ready to talk when I needed her to, and ready to sit in silence with me when I needed that. And she never lost faith in me. Though I had lost most of mine, she kept her's strong. She told me that even if I didn't have faith, she did, and she had enough for both of us.

After only the first day of my trip, I knew that I would be okay. So now, a few weeks later, I'm sitting here wondering exactly what happened to me. Did I lose my faith? Or was it my faith that kept me from going under? What I find ironic is that everything I've learned, and everything I needed to hear, all along was right there in black and white and red, in the Bible. I just couldn't accept it, mostly because I was angry. But now, whenever I think about what I've learned from all of this, I realize that it's a Bible verse I've read somewhere along the way. And now I just crave more of it.

The truths I was not accepting I'm now seeking out and wanting to find. The faith I thought was dead is suddenly unprecedentedly strong. And the God I was so angry with is the one I want to be close to more than anything. So, ultimately, what I've learned through this experience, and what I've known my whole life, are one in the same:

In all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. And I am more than a conqueror through Him who loves me. For neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Thoughts

I think that tragedies,

As horrible and painful as they are,

Can ultimately bring some good with the bad.

I think the deciding factor is us -

whether we choose to accept it.

God gives and He takes away.

He took you away from me.

What choice am I faced with?

I can be angry at God,

And grow bitter and resentful.

I can choose to keep the void

you left open and painfully empty.

Or I can accept it as God's will,

And choose to fill that void

with His goodness and love.

Obviously, I'll choose the latter -

Because who wants a life of bitterness and pain?

Of course, if it were up to me,

If I were allowed to pick,

I'd choose to have you and my God.

But evidently I wasn't meant to have both.

So every empty place you've left behind,

I will let God fill.

He can be our mutual friend.

You're hanging out with Him in Glory,

And I'm clinging to Him to get through each day.